ABSENT DAD

Today would have been my father's 84th birthday. 

Life wasn't perfect for us, yet it was somehow perfect in that we taught each other what we needed to learn from each other. 

It was not his fault. It's not my fault. 

It's no one's fault. It just is what it is. 

We all have something we believe is true that isn't true 

deep inside of us

and some of us spend our entire lives trying to undo the misconceptions and beliefs that hold us back from living a full life of love and adventure.  

It's never too late. 

Life is the school, love is the lesson.

It seemed so long between visits

Just every month or so,

And even then time shared was brief

It was hard to see him go.

Of course to mother there was relief

In seeing him depart.

But to his daughter, it was the first

Padlock upon her heart.

This early lesson taught her

That men we love can leave.

So be so ever careful

Not to fall, not to believe

In lasting love, for love can stray

And separate the two

Who so loved one another

As love made it's first debut.

"Abandonment" they call it

Where you just seem to expect

That if you allow yourself to care

The old rule takes effect:

Those who love will also leave

No matter what you do:

If your Daddy has left you to fend for yourself,

It will happen again to you.

So you go your own way and you meet lots of men

And keep a safe distance between.

You're unintentionally "hard to get,"

Driven by a force unseen.

This of course drives men crazy

And you help them realize

That they'll not understand some women;

First she loves and then she flies.

There are lessons for you to learn that men

Are not all like your Dad.

Strive to open up your world

To a well-intended lad.

If he leaves you, understand,

That's simply a risk you face.

Like everything else, take what you learn

And apply it in the next case.

Until you land on one who's right

For you and you for him.

Sometimes there are lessons to be learned

Throughout the interim.

So just believe, have faith assured

In the Powers That Be each day.

Use your insight, share your love,

And you won't be a divorcee.

From the book "One Heart's Journey" by Kate McGahan

c.2000

If I Were You, If You Were Me

April is National Poetry Month. Why don't you write a poem too? You might surprise yourself with your talent on expressing something you are passionate about. Try to get out of your head and gently move into your heart and see what happens. I wrote this little rambling poem/song while I was out walking the dogs one night not long ago and I thought I would post it. In honor of April.

If I were you
I'd be able to see
The way you'd come to live for me.
If I were you
I'd hear the way
You honor me each time you pray.
If I were you
I'd feel your face
I'd touch your heart
I'd taste the life you bring to me
I'd know your scent when you are near
And when you're not - when you must leave -
I'd always trust that you'd return.
I'd have no fear. I would not grieve
I'd have great faith. I would believe
In you and me.
Two hearts entwined;
My life yours and your life mine.
If I were you
I'd taste
I'd smell
I'd see
I'd hear
I'd feel
I'd sense
I'd want you near
I'd love you dear...
I love you.

But I'm not you.
I'm not you.

 ©2018  Kate McGahan

Who is speaking in the poem? Who is You? Who is Me? Who is speaking? A child? A parent? A pet? A friend? A lover? God? Everyone who ever loved or couldn't love? It's all By Design. We are shaped by those who love us and by those who refuse to love us. At one time or another, one situation or the other, we each have loved in this lifetime and we each at a certain moment have disregarded the call to love.

If you now feel unloved, it is not true. You are not a victim of a life without love. Someone Somewhere loves you very much. Someone you do not see or seem to sense. You are never alone. Think about this and look around. You are the one who does not see. Open your eyes, your ears, your heart and find the One who loves you.  Seek. You shall find. 

The Very Fact You Thought of Me is Evidence that I Am There

Chasing my memories of you!

Or are they chasing me?

It seems that you are everywhere!

...Yet you're so far away.

Please don't forget me.

You don't have the reminders that I do:

Our house, the corner coffeeshop,

The park and symphony hall;

How is it you seem to be there!

Everywhere I go,

Everywhere I am.

I guess

You maybe aren't so far away

After all.

Separation Anxiety Reversed

Now you know the way I felt when I couldn't go with you.

You always came right home to me. 

Whey would it be any different now? 

Everything will be okay. I'll see you soon. I promise.

I'm just gone from your sight for a little while. 
I promise, you'll Come Home to me.
Have faith in this. Just wait and see. 
I'll be all excited at the gate
To see you, oh I cannot wait! 
Until then know I love you. 
I love you. I love you. I love you.

Letter to Jack: ANNIVERSARIES OF THE HEART

Dear Jack: 
That first year is the hardest. The first holidays without him, the first time I baked cookies and he was not there to taste test, his first birthday without him... it never stops hurting, but it will ease.  I am coming up on his "gotcha" day in September and I know that day will not be easy to get through, just like all the other 25ths of each month and all the firsts I now have to face. But I keep trying to remember his happiness. He does not miss me, I know. He is pain free and happy and enjoying Eternity in Heaven. One day he knows I will be with him again.  
A Facebook Friend

Dear Friend,
You are correct about so many things. Yes he is happy, free and enjoying Heaven. He does know that you will be together again. Where you are wrong is that he DOES miss you. It's just that us animals don't get hung up on the missing, the worrying, the needing, the Wanting What We Can't Have. We miss you and we simply know that we will meet again when the time is right. We trust the process and we don't worry about it...but the day we see you at the gate? The joy!! Yay! You just need to learn to trust it too!
Thank you for writing today. 
Love,
Jack

We Cannot Be Separated

"...Like the cat who finds her way back home over a thousand miles, like the dog who waits for his master to arrive on the train that never comes, like the one who keeps a vigil at her master’s grave until she too can cross the bridge, some people and their pets are woven together by threads of life and they cannot, and will not, for long be separated." 

~"Jack McAfghan: Reflections on Life with my Master" Chapter 48

The Cure for Separation Anxiety is to be Together Again

We feel as bad about leaving you as you felt about leaving us. When you are this upset, it's kind of easy to forget 

that we'll be together again. 

But we will. I promise.