Self-sufficient me; no need of anyone.
Then, blessed by God's good grace,
I stumbled onto you one day
Quite unexpectedly.
Unfalteringly drawn to you
As if to keep a promise
My soul was meant to keep.
My sleeping heart awakens
With your gentleness, your nurturance,
Your wise and thoughtful ways.
My heart cannot again return
To undisturbed and blissful sleep
Now that it knows your touch.
Nothing you can do or say
Will take away from what I feel
Unless you show by word or deed
That you no longer care.
I pray to God for time;
As much as He can give to us.
I will wait.
I will love.
I will have faith
As I continue to discover
That you are the one for me.

To you who whom I love, in a language which I am learning
Yo puedo cuidar de mi.
Yo no tengo la necesidad por cualquiero.
Entonces la gracia buena de Dios viva a mi.
De una manera inesperada,
Mi camino cruzo tu camino un dia.
Dibujado con la fuerze hacia ti,
Como parfa mantener una promesa eterna
Mi alma guardo su sofnificado.
Mi corazon han estado durmiendo
Hasta esta momento
Se despierta el nutrienduse de ti,
De sabiduria y pensamientos de bondad.
Los suenos agradables que he experimentado.
No puedan comparar se a la
Felicidad que usted trae a mi
Simplemente siendo tu.
Mi corazon ahora no puede devolver
Al sueno tranquilo y dichoso
Porque se ha transformado por ti.
No hay una cosa que tu puedas
Hacer o que tu puedas decir,
Para combiar mi amor por asia ti;
Solo si tu muestra en palabras o hechos
Que tu ya no me quieres.
Yo esperare.
Yo amare.
Yo tendre la fe.
Yo oro para que Dios nos
De tiempo para nosotros.
Mientras yo continuo descubriendo
Que tu ere lo unico para mi.


Immortal Gift

Civilization’s Rise and Fall.
Evolution: Fact or Fiction?
Every story told gives
Enough material for
Documentary, SciFi, Political Mystery.

“…Ever hear of this guy?”
Icke. Braden. Bearden.
“Not until now.”
“Did I ever tell you…”
“Yes, would I forget?”

Out I would run to the nearest library
Or Google the nearest online PC.
To learn what he was
To teach me.

Severed now from Earth Mothers cord
He is free to oversee
The rise and fall
Of all of us.

The Wheel keeps on turning.

As for Evolution?
It’s a fact.
Can’t be helped
When you cross paths
With such a man.


Giving and Receiving what is asked for

Last week I was reading a book about Reverence to Mother Earth and how good it is to make a "sacrifice"... To make an offering as a precious gift to the Earth. So I thought "What is something really precious to me that I can take to my land and bury there." Then I thought of it.

I went into my seashell collection and there was the little coral dolphin that the Mexican shaman gave me when Benito and I were in Tulum. The Shaman had said "If you find you don't need him/the dolphin anymore, don't give him to anyone. Take him and bury him in the earth." So I lifted out my precious little dolphin and took him up to Wild Horse Mesa and buried him in the clay and the rocks. It was really hard for me to do, to separate that little dolphin from the rest of my visual life, but I did.

In preparation I was doing a lot of thinking about Benito and the past and the future. We did not end on the best of terms. I "put it out there" in my thoughts and prayers and deepest desires. The only loose end I really wanted tied up with him was to know that, when all was said and done, that he knew that I had loved him.

(Your wish is my command)

Well, yesterday I opened my mailbox and, quite surprisingly, there was a letter from Benito! We had not been in touch in over 12 months. He started it "Dear Mrs/Ms Catalina MaGoo" (which tells me he has lightened up a bit because he would always call me 'Miss MaGoo' and we would always laugh).

Anyway -- the last words of his letter (after 'God Bless you Kate Wherever You Are') (!) were in poetic broken English but basically read "When you fall and get back up, it makes you see the sentimental truth between two people. It is not always clear when we have love standing right in front of our face."

There it was. That's all I needed to "close the case". What gift. I wonder if he knows what he did for me by giving me that. And giving it to me now. It reinstates my faith in everything. (That Benito still "hears" me 2 1/2 years later; small beans compared to lifetimes I suppose!) But then, so many things happen out here like that every day! But this was an especially powerful one for me. 


My First Poem in Spanish

Sus acciones daran que sentir.
Mi Compadre.
Hizo su equipage.
Salio a escape.
"Hasta La Vista" Baby.
No levanto de vista.
Escapo al Kathleen.
(Ha visto alguna vez un alacran?)
Quien habia de creerio!
Cayo como una bomba.
El miedo. Me da miedo.
Que sera de nosotros?
Cayo infermo. Caya infermo.
Les vueltas en la cama.

Lo trace escrito en la frente.
Puso mala cara.
Hable como una cotorra,
Cuesto lo que cueste.
Hay tantos problemas que resolver.
Dios, se rie de nosotros!
A rio revuelto, ganancia de pescadores.

A cada paso se vela algo nuevo.
Ah! La victima de senales de vida!
Es un pedazo de pan.
Con certaron un a cuerdo.
En la guerra de vida perdimos la flor
y nata de nuestra juventud:
Reir, dar saltos de alegria, jugar,
sonar, estar a salvo.
El nino no murio!
Me suena a musica.

Hagamus Las Maletus!
(De ordinario va sola)
Son tal para cual.
Tanto monta el uno cumo el otro.
Me hizo un regalo.
Aparecio a hor fija.
Estoy en mi centro.
Estaba de Dios.
Estar como el pex en el agua a primera vista.
Mucho gusto en conocerlo.
Porque Si.
Amigos por los siglos ole los siglos sin explicar.
Tenemos suerte.
No veremos dentro de poco.

c. 2001 ( I welcome comments from anyone who can correct my very imperfect spanish spelling and grammar!)

In English:

His actions will give cause for regret.
My Buddy.
He packed his bags.
He went off in great haste.
"So long" Baby.
He didn't raise his eyes.
He escaped from Kathleen.
(Have you ever seen a scorpion?)
Who would have thought it!
It felt like a bombshell.
Fear. It frightens me.
What will become of us?
He felt ill, She felt ill.
Tosses and turns in bed.
It's written all over her face;
His face showed discontent.
He's a chatterbox, cost what it may.
There are so many problems to be solved.

God, He is laughing at us!
There's good fishing in troubled waters.
Something new at every turn.
Ah! The victim shows signs of life!
He has a heart of gold.
They come to terms...
In the war of life, we lost the flower of our youth;
To laugh, to jump for joy, to play,
To dream, to be safe.
BUT the child did not die!
It sounds like music to me.

Let's pack our suitcases!
(usually she goes alone)
They're two of a kind.
One has the same importance as the other.

He gave me a gift.
He arrived right on schedule.
I am where I belong.
It was fated
To feel at home at first sight.
I'm very glad to meet you,
Just because.
Friends forever and ever
Without explanation.

We're lucky.
We'll see each other in a little while.

Yo Yo

The pounds go on, the pounds go off
The pounds go on again.
The greatest cause of overweight's
Unhappiness, my friend.

The hole inside our hungry heart
Seems to have depths unknown.
We hunger in our darkest hours
When we feel most alone.

We crave the things we shouldn't eat.
It's hard to rise above
Our hunger, when we really crave
Attention, warmth and love.

Heart of the Storm of Depression

Another sleepless night, another weary day
Is upon me once again in my life of disarray.
I was told once "happiness is just a state of mind."
Oh that it could be so simple to leave my thoughts behind.

Imprisoned by my feelings of
Sadness, heartache, pain...
I begin to feel again
My life is lived in vain.

I try so hard to break the ties that bind me to this cell
But darkened shadows do entice me to remain and dwell
Within this prison while I see to find my way back home.
Homesick, yet I know not what direction I should roam

To find a place of comfort
Free of ghosts and shadows dark.
I'm on The Boat of Sadness
And I wish to disembark

But waves of melancholia
Don't permit me near the shore.
They try to drown me, tow me under,
As they have so oft before.

Now I"m learning to tread water
And to keep my head above
Because somewhere in my saddened heart
There's hope for light and love.

Caught in the heart of raging storm
I find strength to press on.
I'm now propelled towards land and shore;
Some of the weight is gone.

As I arrive a thought occurs to me:
I did not drown!
In fact the storm that brought me here
Seemed somehow to surround

Me with gentle force within the eye
Of cyclone, speed and storm.
That core within I now call "home"
Will keep me safe and warm.

And while this cycle will go on
I will find faith in what I've learned.
I'll never be adrift at sea
And ties that bind can now be burned.

From the book "One Heart's Journey"

Going Home

Some folks say the best place on Earth
Is where they came from;
The place they call

Some go home and walk with the angels!
Some return and encounter the devil;
And if you're strong enough to rise above him
You fight for what you believe in,
For what you deserve
And let the skeletons
Out of the old coat closet.

If you're not strong enough,
You simply have to let go and walk away
Towards a life that you believe in
Where you'll have what you deserve.

And maybe someday return
To find that you are strong enough.


Sarah McVay: Am I Living a Life Story or a Fairy Tale?

From the diary of Miss Sarah McVay

Snow White was lucky. With the poisoned apple in her throat, she wasn't conscious as she lay waiting for her Prince Charming. How lucky she was that she didn't even know she was waiting!

What if my life is just my life and not a fairy tale?  

Excerpt from "It's All About You"   

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