Monday

ABSENT DAD


Today would have been my father's 84th birthday. 
Life wasn't perfect for us, yet it was somehow perfect in that we taught each other what we needed to learn from each other. 
It was not his fault. It's not my fault. 
It's no one's fault. It just is what it is. 
We all have something we believe is true that isn't true 
deep inside of us
and some of us spend our entire lives trying to undo the misconceptions and beliefs that hold us back from living a full life of love and adventure.  
It's never too late. 
Life is the school, love is the lesson.


It seemed so long between visits
Just every month or so,
And even then time shared was brief
It was hard to see him go.

Of course to mother there was relief
In seeing him depart.
But to his daughter, it was the first
Padlock upon her heart.



This early lesson taught her
That men we love can leave.
So be so ever careful
Not to fall, not to believe

In lasting love, for love can stray
And separate the two
Who so loved one another
As love made it's first debut.


"Abandonment" they call it
Where you just seem to expect
That if you allow yourself to care
The old rule takes effect:

Those who love will also leave
No matter what you do:
If your Daddy has left you to fend for yourself,
It will happen again to you.

So you go your own way and you meet lots of men
And keep a safe distance between.
You're unintentionally "hard to get,"
Driven by a force unseen.


This of course drives men crazy
And you help them realize
That they'll not understand some women;
First she loves and then she flies.

There are lessons for you to learn that men
Are not all like your Dad.
Strive to open up your world
To a well-intended lad.

If he leaves you, understand,
That's simply a risk you face.
Like everything else, take what you learn
And apply it in the next case.


Until you land on one who's right
For you and you for him.
Sometimes there are lessons to be learned
Throughout the interim.

So just believe, have faith assured
In the Powers That Be each day.
Use your insight, share your love,
And you won't be a divorcee.


From the book "One Heart's Journey" by Kate McGahan
c.2000

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