ABSENT DAD

Today would have been my father's 84th birthday. 

Life wasn't perfect for us, yet it was somehow perfect in that we taught each other what we needed to learn from each other. 

It was not his fault. It's not my fault. 

It's no one's fault. It just is what it is. 

We all have something we believe is true that isn't true 

deep inside of us

and some of us spend our entire lives trying to undo the misconceptions and beliefs that hold us back from living a full life of love and adventure.  

It's never too late. 

Life is the school, love is the lesson.

It seemed so long between visits

Just every month or so,

And even then time shared was brief

It was hard to see him go.

Of course to mother there was relief

In seeing him depart.

But to his daughter, it was the first

Padlock upon her heart.

This early lesson taught her

That men we love can leave.

So be so ever careful

Not to fall, not to believe

In lasting love, for love can stray

And separate the two

Who so loved one another

As love made it's first debut.

"Abandonment" they call it

Where you just seem to expect

That if you allow yourself to care

The old rule takes effect:

Those who love will also leave

No matter what you do:

If your Daddy has left you to fend for yourself,

It will happen again to you.

So you go your own way and you meet lots of men

And keep a safe distance between.

You're unintentionally "hard to get,"

Driven by a force unseen.

This of course drives men crazy

And you help them realize

That they'll not understand some women;

First she loves and then she flies.

There are lessons for you to learn that men

Are not all like your Dad.

Strive to open up your world

To a well-intended lad.

If he leaves you, understand,

That's simply a risk you face.

Like everything else, take what you learn

And apply it in the next case.

Until you land on one who's right

For you and you for him.

Sometimes there are lessons to be learned

Throughout the interim.

So just believe, have faith assured

In the Powers That Be each day.

Use your insight, share your love,

And you won't be a divorcee.

From the book "One Heart's Journey" by Kate McGahan

c.2000

My Poem About Squirrels

I think that I shall never see 

This squirrel come down from this tree. 

A squirrel whose tail goes east and west;

She teases me! She is a pest! 

She sits and looks at me all day, 

And waves her furry tail to say 

She'll never let me win this game. 

I must forfeit; she is to blame! 

The tree protects with limbed terrain. 

Her sheltered home, it's her domain. 

Only God can make a tree, 

Or a squirrel... or fools like me. 

~ by Jack McAfghan. 
Based on the poem "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer (1914)

Do Dogs Feel Guilty Too?

Would you forgive this guy for not being perfect?? 

Kate and Joey and Immy were out walking today and they crossed paths with a older couple walking a corgi mix. They said Hi and the other dog's only response was to snarl and growl, lunging and straining at the leash, barking his head off at them.  

"He's been like that since we rescued him six years ago," they said matter-of-factly. "There seems to be no cure. He just doesn't like anybody!"  They added, "We love him anyway. We'll always love him no matter what."  

Their dog does not feel guilty about his behavior. He doesn't care if he's not perfect. He is what he is. He knows that they love him, they know that he loves them to the extent he can love, and that is enough. Please don't keep revisiting your past behavior and and finding more guilt and shame there. Guilt and shame exist only in your mind. Your pets love you despite everything and, like these human owners, they don't think twice.  It's just the way it is. Unconditional love wins. Let it win the battle over guilt and shame.  Let it in. Let love win. 

The Cure for Separation Anxiety is to be Together Again

We feel as bad about leaving you as you felt about leaving us. When you are this upset, it's kind of easy to forget 

that we'll be together again. 

But we will. I promise.

She Made Everything Fun, Even the Stuff That was Scary

There was the time when we short sold our house and had to find a place to live. We found a nice place, but every time you move you have to adapt and sometimes you have to learn new things. She was a great teacher because even if I got nervous or scared, which wasn't very often, she was always very reassuring and she actually made the scary things seem fun. After awhile I found everything fun!

Getting used to our new place, I never saw these things before!

Posted by Jack McAfghan on Sunday, September 15, 2013