When You Grieve For One Who Grieves

Sometimes it is harder to witness one grieving than it is to grieve for yourself. Sometimes you grieve more for them than they grieve for themselves because you tend to project your own feelings onto them and it distorts and magnifies the grief.

Yesterday she heard the familiar "THUMP" of the bird hitting the window. She ran outside and it was a young adult female cardinal. So beautiful. It had died instantly having broken its neck in the impact.  

She went inside to get a soft towel and returned for burial proceedings. She admired its feathers, its beak, its regal beauty as she wrapped the bird. She prayed for it and spoke with it as she carried it to the fence at the back of the yard, the place where the cardinal and her mate would often frolic and play.  

As she dug the soft hole, she cried softly. She covered the beautiful creature with the dirt which she sifted through her fingers so that it would land gently upon the tangerine-colored wings. 

After she went back into the house, she tried to re-focus on her tasks at hand there. In a matter of moments there was the "CHIRP CHIRP" of the male cardinal. He was at the back fence flitting around. "CHIP CHIP CHIRP CHIRP".  Oh this made her cry again, harder. It was not a happy chirp. She imagined what it must be like for the cardinal's partner to not know what happened. To be confused and lost and alone. She wondered if they had a nest -- of eggs -- or perhaps of little ones who still needed their mother in order to survive. She had hopes that cardinals do not mate for life so that this beautiful red boy would be able to find love again. Throughout the day she would hear his CHIRP and she would be so unhappy for him.  

But today, there he was. CHIRP! CHIRP!  Flying around with another girl. Humans take a long time to heal and four-leggeds heal 7x faster. Birds heal almost immediately once they know what's going on.  Mr. Cardinal had seen the whole thing. He knew what had happened. He did not waste any time in grief for as soon as his lady passed, she joined him in spirit. Birds and animals know more than you think they do and they are capable of knowing more than you know.  They would say to you this: 

"Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."  

Jalaluddin Rumi

Read my books and I will help you understand how we go and how we come back and what happens in the middle of it all. 

Jack McAfghan: The Trilogy is available worldwide on Amazon and through all major booksellers.  

Love in the Public Eye

 How many take love for granted? It starts out sweet
And then disappears. 
Imagine the fun they had putting this sculpture into place. 

 A few days later, people still notice and appreciate it. 

 A few weeks later people start using it as a landmark. "

Turn right at L-O-V-E, go down three blocks 
and turn left on I-Could-Care-Less Street!" 

 A few months later they walk by in its shadow, 
hardly noticing. 

 Such is the way with love that is not nourished or nurtured. 

 But look! 
Years later it still stands tall and strong! 
Of course it does. 

It is more stable and powerful 
than all the inattention in the world. 

Don't Be In A Hurry. It Takes Time to Heal.

There is a period of one to two earth years that humans are to refrain from making big decisions. It’s because you don’t always make the best decisions when you are grieving. Those who make decisions in haste often live to regret them. You must move through the time of suffering, strengthening your faith and being willing to grow through the grief in order to be able to see things differently. As you grow, your blind faith will continue to open your eyes. You will see everything in a whole new light when you come out the other side of grief. 

Then you will be able to make very good decisions for yourself, better than ever, because of what you learned.

"Jack McAfghan: Return from Rainbow Bridge"

The Power in a Name

This is my rainbow friend Domenico in the picture. Do you know that there is power in a name? Domenico means "of the Lord". You can be sure his Master called him Home where he now waits for his earthly beloveds and lives in the light of Love.

She didn't have any profound reasons for naming me. She called me Jack because she just always liked the name Jack and she always wanted to meet a guy named Jack. Then when she hadn't met one, she told me "Jack's my favorite name and you're my favorite friend so I'm going to name you 'Jack'." In actuality Jack means "man". I loved that. She doesn't know it yet, but someday she will know why I had to leave so soon. Because when you make someone your One and Only it leaves no room for anyone else to come into your life. And she has more to do besides build her life around me.

What did you name your pet and why? As you ponder this, it might give you clues to the Destiny that unfolded in your life with them.
Feel free to comment below your pet's name and your thoughts about this. 

Find the Jack McAfghan Trilogy of Books to heal your grief and strengthen your heart on Amazon Worldwide. http://amzn.to/2sCnH50

Anger Is Part of Grief

Who has been the source of your anger? 

Yourself? 

Do you blame yourself? 

The vet? 

The people around you who seem not to care? 

God? 

Anger is a part of the grief process and it can be very scary, especially if you were never allowed or encouraged to express anger. 

Feel it. Heal it. Let it go. 

My book will show you how. 

http://amzn.to/2ipa4zE

Planning for the Inevitable: Learn to Communicate Ahead of Time

Hi Jack, 
It has been a long time and when it is too hard for my human brain to know, I must come back to you. My Balto is 12 years old. He still looks like a baby but he is having increasing issues with osteoarthitis. His Vet asked me if I wanted to try laser treatment to ease the pain. I wonder if this will work? I just want to be sure he will let me know ahead of time so I do not let him suffer...On the other hand I want Him to have a quiet life.  I don't know much about his life before he came to me. He was 9 years old when we met in a shelter. I really hope I will understand his signs when they come to me. Sometimes Veterinarians are only doing their job but in the same time I want to try everything to ease his pain. I am a little bit lost. Anyway I can at last feel his love now. I am sorry if this message is not clear. And as I told Kate I have your Book close to me...... ♡♡♡♡
Love, 
Balto's "Mom" 


Dear Mom, 
The energy of your message is very clear because you write from a place of love and I always understand love. Please say Hi to Balto for me. If you can get a product called Dasaquin, it helped me a lot. I was struggling a bit moving around too and once we went on that I was like a puppy again -- all the way till the end. I don't know if it will work for Balto but it worked for me. Start with that... and then the laser if it doesn't work. 

I am glad you keep my book close to you because that is where I can always remind you that everything is okay, even if it doesn't feel like it is at the moment.  

I must tell you that the most important thing you can do these days is to sit quietly with Balto. Put your hand on his heart and the other hand on yours. Tell him that you want to learn to communicate with each other through your hearts and that you may need his help with this. This is where he will communicate with you when he is "gone from your sight" one day.  Sit quietly with him, breathe with him, feel your hearts together. It will be good for both of you.

Whenever the world gets to be too much, with your hands on your hearts everything always seems better because it reminds you that your power is in your heart, not your head.

Love, 
Jack

My Poem About Squirrels

I think that I shall never see 

This squirrel come down from this tree. 

A squirrel whose tail goes east and west;

She teases me! She is a pest! 

She sits and looks at me all day, 

And waves her furry tail to say 

She'll never let me win this game. 

I must forfeit; she is to blame! 

The tree protects with limbed terrain. 

Her sheltered home, it's her domain. 

Only God can make a tree, 

Or a squirrel... or fools like me. 

~ by Jack McAfghan. 
Based on the poem "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer (1914)