Dear Jack: I'm so Sad, My Other Pet is Grieving Too...

Dear Jack I need your help. 
Since Oscar has traveled to the Rainbow Bridge, my sweet girl Devin Rose will not leave the side of the litter box except to come and eat and then go right back to this spot.  My sweet girl. What can I do for her? 
Jolie

Dear Jolie,

Miss Devin Rose is probably depressed and grieves with you. There are many sensitive animal lovers out there who don't realize that their pets have similar emotions and feelings when they have lost a loved one. While the humans get caught up in their grief, they often don't see that their remaining pets need special attention too. I am so glad you were able to recognize this and that you were paying attention to your little girl's needs amidst your own grief. 

This is what I recommend. Go to her. Ask her for permission to lift her out of that space.  Pick her up lovingly and take her to a calm, comfortable, nurturing place. Put her in your lap and pet her with all the love you can summon to your hands. Cry with her. Talk to her like you would talk to a very dear friend.  Tell her you are sad and that you know that she is sad too, having lost her friend, Oscar. Explain to her that you are learning about healing and that things will get better for both of you.  

Tell her whatever is on your mind and in your heart and then ask her to share how she is feeling. Allow quiet time and space for her to "talk" to you. You might even "hear" her if you listen with your heart. It may sound crazy but if this is what she needs (and you may need it too), it should help. 

Love,
Jack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Jack, 
Our talk worked!  
Look who finally came out! Cuddling with big brother Oliver  ♡

Guilt Runs Rampant

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS OF GUILT? YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Kate suffers from it too. In fact, most human beings do! She posted this on my support group page and it generated quite a bit of dialogue and thought:

"I keep seeing the guilt that keeps running amuck in our lives. I experienced some more of it today.  We all LOVE LOVE LOVE-ed our best friends. I loved Jack more than I loved myself! I put his needs before mine (except for my having to go to work to pay for the things we needed...and I felt guilty about that too).  He ate better than I did! Now that I have Immy and Joey, we are walking many miles each day -- morning, noon and nighttime too.  It is more than I ever walked with Jack. Today we were out on our two mile morning walk and I found myself crying again.  "Maybe," I said, "just maybe if I had walked Jack more, he'd still be here." 

We cannot beat ourselves up. I have to tell myself that if he were alive today, he might have to endure a worse fate -- like becoming old and crippled into his senior years. He never had the chance. Instead of declining for months and years, he went with dignity in a matter of days. 

Someday I hope I can look back on this -- after I have completely healed -- and know that it was perfect and By Design. We can only do what we can do."

~ Kate