Saturday

In So Many Ways There is Life After Death...

 Note from Kate: 

I didn't want another dog after Jack. But I had Joey who became quite the handful (!) after Jack passed. There was a time in my early grief I thought of giving up Joey. I was in so much pain! When I realized it was the complications of grief that made me want to give up Joey I got myself on a new path. It was worth the ride. Keep your heart and mind open and try not to make irreversible decisions when you are going through the stages of grief. Once you ultimately accept your loss, you can make better decisions for yourself and for the ones you love.

Love, Kate

This is Immy.

It was about 6 months after I had passed. Kate didn't really want another dog, for she already had little Joey. The fact of the matter was that the Universe planned on her getting another dog and It made sure she knew it. After I passed, Joey exhibited terrific separation anxiety. He destroyed the house, chewed electrical wires and pens and highlighters, and his screams from being left alone could be heard from one end of town to the other. Kate had no choice. She began the search (you can read the synchronistic story in Book 3, "Return from Rainbow Bridge") which led her to Immy.
The relationship was far from perfect. She had had a very well-adjusted dog (Yours Truly 🐕) and ended up with a dog with many insecurities. But on Day 1, snuggled in next to Immy, Joey was happy and content when Kate went off to work. Mission accomplished!
It would be a very long time before Immy could handle social situations but in the process, Immy grew and Kate grew and Joey was happy and everything turned out okay. Just the way it was Meant To Be.
Loving again can be messy. You can never replace a Beloved friend. But know that that Friend is working behind the scenes to give you what you need to grow and to become a more loving human being.
Is all about the Love. Good girl Immy!
“I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” –The Alchemist

Sunday

Be a Hero of Love Instead of a Victim of Loss

   


   How? How do I stay with something when I want to leave? How? 

How do I let go of something when I don't want it to go?

Two words: Love & Commitment. Those of you who are making progress know this -- and there are so many of you, I'm so proud of you. It takes love. That's all. LOVE heals the grief. It takes making love stronger than your grief. Being a hero of love instead of a victim of loss.
Make the commitment to feel better again -- for your sake and theirs. It just takes starting at page one in "Reflections." For so long as you cry and weep and grieve, your best friend will mournfully be waiting to see you smile again. When they walked this earth with you they did not like to see you unhappy, did they? They still walk the earth with you, beyond the thin veil that separates, and they still look at you with mournfulness, waiting to see you happy again. Once you start smiling and living life again, they can truly be free.
If you've read our books, you'll learn how to get from here to there. If you haven't read our books, they wait patiently for you to begin your journey out of grief -- and back into love.
💗

Tuesday

Life is the School, Love is the Lesson, Grief is Our Teacher

 


Only those who avoid love can avoid the pain of grief. Grief has a Grand Plan. Grief teaches you to quiet yourself and learn to tune into the unseen world around you. Getting through grief will strengthen your faith in that which you cannot see. 

When we struggle we can die. When we resist we can get hurt. Surrender to the grief. You are not required to feel anything. Just FEEL whatever feelings come.  Don't be afraid of them. They will not hurt you any more than struggle and resistance.  

Only those who avoid love can avoid the pain of grief. Don't let yourself be one of them. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile --- and it's only a ride, this life. The Real Life is Yet To Come. 

Keep the faith. Keep going. Keep growing. It will all be worth it in the end --- in the beginning. 

Thursday

National Holocaust Remembrance Day

 We need to be reminded that we really have nothing to complain about...

FRANKLY SPEAKING

The strength of human will Is stronger than anything that can happen to it.

This phenomenon of nature holds true. 
As the strongest winds blow
So the seedling is strengthened.

When I think of the wisdom and the resiliency Of Viktor Frankl at Auschwitz,
I am much better able to tolerate
The foul-smelling woman
Who sits beside me
On the way to Penn Station.




Wednesday

A New Year

                                                                  

 


It’s New Year’s Eve… 

I’m waiting your arrival

To ring in the new year. 

 

We dated years ago and

Despite our differences

I loved you so.

 

Parting as the best of friends

We still get together

On Saturday nights

And Sunday afternoons

And New Year’s Eves 

When there’s no one involved 

With you and me. 

 

Sometimes I think, maybe?

Maybe we could love again?

Maybe it would work this time?

 

It’s New Year’s Eve

The call comes in:

You won’t be coming after all. 

 

It’s New Year’s Eve.

I understand. 

Nothing’s New.



From "One Heart's Journey: Lyrics of an Imperfect Life"

Available on Amazon.com



We Hear You Wherever You Are, Wherever We Are

 

Book 5, "Letters from Rainbow Bridge"
The Jack McAfghan Pet Loss Series
A Dog's Memoirs on Life and the Afterlife
Available on Amazon https://amzn.to/37XQMOM




Monday

Surviving Anniversaries and Holidays



ANNIVERSARIES & HOLIDAYS

Excerpt from "Only Gone From Your Sight: A Personal Approach to Human Grief & Loss"



Every grieving mother knows how old her child would be today. You probably know how old I would be now and how long I’ve been gone. The heart remembers everything. You are connected to me by the love that we share, a love that tugs at your heartstrings at special times. You might find yourself thinking about me continuously one day. You just can’t get me out of your mind! Maybe you even have a dream of me or receive an extraordinary sign. You look at the calendar and realize that it is the anniversary of my passing or my birthday. The heart remembers everything. 

 

“One day without him...” 

“He was still here this time last week.” 

“I’ve made it through the first two weeks.” 

“I can’t believe she’s been gone a month.” 

“It’s been 2 months, 2 days, 7 hours, 35 minutes.” 

“3 months have passed now.” 

“4 months.” 

“5 months...152 days” 

“I’m coming up on 6 months.” 

“It’s my first holiday alone.” 

“This would have been her birthday.” 

 

We’ve been through one round of all the anniversaries of the heart. 365 days of “first times.” Oh, but it’s still complicated isn’t it? Leaving the first year behind, it’s like we lose that too.

The anniversaries will keep coming. There will be days when you just aren’t feeling so strong. Maybe you go a park or a restaurant where we used to go and even though you might have a new friend with you, you are filled with tears and memories of our days together. It’s okay. Let them come. Those were the days my friend... 

 

Creating new traditions is a very good way to move forward, to honor me and to honor the special days of the year. Sometimes you need to create new traditions for yourself when you are faced with loss---or if you are struggling with family issues and disappointments. 

 

Anniversaries and holidays can be difficult at best when your life feels empty or incomplete. One of the things you can do for yourself during these times is to celebrate the life we shared. Do not mourn my loss. Celebrate my life. Create a lovely altar, light a candle. Say your prayers. Invite me to visit you. Talk to me. Tell me about your hopes and dreams. Reflect on the good times. Tell me you love me over and over again. Soak in the happy times of being blessed by someone in your life who loved you and who loves you still. Someone who taught you the meaning of love, not fear. Celebrate our love. Know that love never dies. 

 

When you are visiting people over the holidays who might not understand what you are going through, take something tangible and subtle with you; something that you can wear or hold in your hand when you are you are longing to be with me instead of them. It's okay to talk about it if it feels like the right thing to do for you. It’s okay to not want to talk about too. Just tell them that. It can also be quite handy to excuse yourself so you can go to bed early. That's okay to a point too. You have a very good reason and you are learning at last to take care of yourself. Balance the holiday and try to stay balanced within yourself as you move forward to the next anniversary without me. 

 

Balance is the key to all healing. Time and support will take care of the rest. 

When you are surrounded by joy and celebration it can actually make you feel worse when you feel worse. If you want to avoid parties and celebrations altogether you can volunteer at a soup kitchen or some other charity event. It often helps one to feel better when they help people less fortunate. You can also opt to stay home, but I will be hoping that one day you will be willing to share the holiday with someone you love and trust. Someone who lets you be you. Go easy on yourself. 

 

"The first of every month would loom ominously. She braced herself every time a new month approached. The August 1 anniversary was tough. Then a funny thing happened. December 1 arrived; sixteen months. The day came and went. On December 2 she realized she had not noticed. She felt guilty at first until she realized it was a sign of her healing. My life was the important thing and our relationship, now on new terms, was all that mattered. She forgot February 1 too! And March! She didn’t remember until after a whole week had passed! Who knew what would happen on April Fool’s Day? Well! She fooled me and remembered! This is how it will happen for you too, in your own time and in your own way."
Return from Rainbow Bridge, Chapter 62  🐾


Get a copy of "Only Gone From Your Sight: A Personal Approach to Human Grief & Loss" on Amazon   Click HERE! 





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