I’m building a wall that I don’t want to build
A stockade ‘round my heart and soul
All because those before you filled
My life then left a gaping hole.
You pay the price of baggage carried
On and off throughout my years.
Some cast off and deeply buried,
Some I keep to tote my fears
Of failure, guilt, abandonment,
Which pull me down and hold me back.
These fears are much like bricks and mortar
Weighing down my heavy sack.
I’ve always had the tools I need
To ward off enemies unknown
Always ready to defend
By erecting walls of stone
Impossible to penetrate!
They kept me sound
They kept me safe!
They also sheltered me from love.
I’ve paid the price of seeming brave.
It’s time to cast those things aside
That I no longer need because
Not only do they weigh too much,
They sheltered me from what life WAS.
My life is very different now
How wrong of me to utilize
This defense when I’ve no cause
To doubt your word or your advice.
I feel exposed as I toss out
The huge amounts of sand and stone…
Afraid to be wounded without my “shield,”
I await the pain as I stand alone.
Only to find that the pain doesn’t come!
I tentatively discover
That warmth and tenderness surround
Me as I start to now uncover
The parts of me I’ve saved for you,
The one who taught me it’s okay
To be myself and share my truth
Knowing you’ll meet me halfway
With respect and courtesy.
I learn life is a paradox.
Tear down the walls with kindness and
Build gates of love, not walls of rocks.
