Hiring a Care Manager: An Ounce of Prevention


We have a client in whose daughter hires us to take her mother to medical appointments; she 'just can't stand' being in her Mom's presence.  Never could.   Of course to us, her Mom is precious!  Funny!  Witty!  Likable!  We didn't have to grow up with her!  We counsel the daughter as a matter of course, and hope that the day will come where she can build the bridge of accepting her mother where she is "at".

This morning we heard about a tragedy in Mattydale NY;  an adult son is being charged with murder and arson.   Sometimes the need and greed for money is a primary reason for such things (this is the number one comment on people trying to determine an alibi).  Sometimes, however, it is caregiver stress.  

I recall a story years ago in Northern NY where a woman handcuffed her father to the bed while she went to work.  She was arrested for cruelty and neglect.  Granted, she did NOT do the right thing and apparently she did not know how or where to ask for help.  It is also possible that she was a loving daughter who was at her wit's end, weeping as she locked the chain. 

Anyone who has been a caregiver for any length of time knows how challenging it is 24/7, feeling hopeless with no end in sight. Here is another extreme example of what can happen under stressful home caregiving circumstances.   We are not condoning such crimes by any means, but we are trying to promote an understanding that caregiver stress can be so high that people can do things completely out of character at near-insanity to deal with it.  

It doesn't have to be that way.  You can hire a care manager if you 'just can't stand it' doing 24/7 shifts day after day, 365 days of the year.  We can support you, give you tools to deal with the situation and help coordinate appropriate care to give you the much-needed respite.

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