Lynette was reviewing her life with me. Now in her late 80's, she would be in her 60th year of marriage had her husband not died before their 30th year together. There has never been another man for her.
She has now been without him as long as she had been with him. As she watches her great-grandchildren grow she thanks God every day that He did not answer her prayer spoken in her bleakest moment.
Sometimes we get discouraged when our prayers aren't answered, but there's generally a very good reason. It may seem selfish and self-centered of her to have prayed that prayer on the plane that day, but when we are in the storm of loss and bereavement, it is natural to lose total perspective for awhile.
Be patient with God and, by all means, be patient with yourself.